Yes people... another singer that will last briefly in the music industry. I bet all of you have heard of Taylor Swift, country singer, extremely young and has set a record for No. 1 on some kind of music chart. And there's the infamous debate about whether she's hot or not. .....She's not. All the younger girls who don't really know what country is like her.

They fit the stereotypical fanatics. "OOOOOH MYYYY GODDD! She's goooorgeous! I love the song "Our Song"! I don't even know what country is but I love Taylorrrr!" Yeah.... It's getting pretty bad. It makes the stereotypical 'Dumb Blonde' seem like a genius.


             When they're first formed into one. You'll be like,                  Then a light of explosive greatness
                                 "What's that?"                                                                      blinds you!

Sadly, Taylor Swift cannot do this. So she's isn't 'cool' or 'good'. We'll stick to mediocre.

I hope this improves the taste of music of those who have wandered the dark path of horrible music. This to me isn't fun, it's a job.

DeviousMoose

Which one is it? Miley Cyrus or Hannah Montana?? I really don't care but there are certain fanatics who live and die by her 'music'. To some she has the voice of an angel but to those who despise little teen sensations, like myself, destroy any radio or iPod playing her songs. The first time i heard about her I thought it was just going to be a phase. But the more I read about mothers and little girls fighting over concert tickets the more I got disgusted. This is girl isn't going to last long anyway why waste your money?

Well for those who have no idea what the situation is really like, let me make it clear. Hannah Montana if thats her stage name or real name, I really don't know, is having a concert, mothers jump through rings of fire to get the tickets. They literally do anything to get the tickets. Using my sharp sense for profit and entertainment, why not make a show out of this? Lke those Japanese shows with impossible obstacle courses but those who somehow found the crack in the system and beat it, only get a pat on the back. As a new generation, we can think of funnier and better games!

Take the typical mom.




And give her an opportunity...






Great things will happen...





But this game won't only be about winning tickets to a horrible concert. It will involve something more exciting. Something the world is finally ready for. Something spectacular...

WE NEED FIRE!




WE NEED A FIGHT! Drive is more powerful than muscle... unless you're against Kimbo Slice..





WE NEED DANGER!




And the result will be MAGICAL!

         +     


You'll have a very happy person with tickets! They'll have the chance to watch a horrible concert where they probably won't even hear Hannah Montana sing just watch her playback. LUCKYYYY!




This just gets worse.... The only I'll enjoy watching is the struggle the fanatics will go through to get the tickets. The struggle will be long, tiring and difficult but they'll eventually get a ticket. Thats the anti-climax in this whole receiving the ticket.

Well this will take care of society's problem about her concerts. But now, what to do about her retarded show? Please give suggestions and I'll pass it on to my anonymous client.

Hit 'em Up,
DeviousMoose

This is a sequel post to another post I have made. This one is concerning the one I wrote about Rambo Israel invading the Redneck Gaza. By looking at the title you can kind of see it. Gaza + Aid = GazAID. In most stories the bad guys are defeated. Or in reality, if you pick a fight with the big boys you're gonna regret it. In this case Israel is Goliath and Gaza is David. This isn't the story where David beats Goliath. This is when reality kicks in. Goliath owns and t-bags David.











Well now that Israel has left Gaza, medical and food supplies can finally fly in. The United States is donating $900 million to the people in Gaza. This doesn't exactly seem smart considering the credit crisis but for the Gaza families its AWESOME! Our new Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said during a conference in Egypt. "Only by acting now can we turn this crisis into an opportunity that moves us closer to our shared goals," I must say I agree.

I just thought it was interesting that the US is giving $900 million when they could use it to save their economy.

Hit 'em Up,
DeviousMoose

I was browsing through IMDB (great site) to see which movies to 'buy' since downloading is horrible in every single way. I was enjoying a great morning, had my coffee and had some bacon. A typical morning for me and I thought, I feel like watching a movie. I usually 'buy' movies as I'm watching them as well. So I was looking for new great movies or movies I've heard of and wanted to see how they were rated. For those who actually use IMDB as a reference, you know that getting 10 of of 10 stars is pretty much impossible. The highest ranked movie of all time is the 'Shawshank Redemption'. And that movie only has 9 starts.

I was scrolling down on my laptop until I saw something that scarred my eyes. I was pretty much crying when I came across the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen. Something worse than Date Movie... My face looked a little like this



Yes embarrassing. The tears wouldn't stop flowing. They came down like the Niagra Falls... I bet i'm really making you wonder what could do this to such an awesome guy like me? To be honest, only one thing can do this. Boy bands, but this has to be the worst boy band ever. They're three retarded brothers who all look like they're into men. Thats right kds...




Well these girls made a movie. Yes... that's right a movie. I can't see how anyone would agree to work with them but they got it done. And it wasn't a stupid chickflick with horrible acting.. it was a concert! The 3D experience! WOW! Last thing I want to see are these guys on the big screen but in 3D? This just makes it worse and worse...


For those who empathize with me, good news. These guys got a miserable 2 stars outa 10 from IMDB. IMDB stays true to its word. They don't accept crappy movies and dont accept bribes so they give it a good rating. Crap remains crap.

Just in case you haven't noticed... I'm not a great fan of the Jonas Brothers.

Hit 'em Up,
DeviousMoose

For those who have seen How I Met Your Mother, there is one man who stands out above everyone else. We all thought he was a myth, but appeared in public for the first time in 2000 years! He is what all men aspire to be in their 20's. He make us proud and motivates us to do the same, in a slightly nicer way. He is Legen-... wait for it... its almost there, not yet, almost... -dary! LEGENDARY! That's the only word that will describe Barney Stinson.



This mythical creature takes bromance to a new level. He takes care of his 'homies' and is willing to take them from great to awesome! He gets VIP tickets to the Victoria's Secret model party, he takes them to Atlantic City and wins an impossible Chinese game involving jelly beans and will always give you sound advice as long as you SUIT UP!

I'll give you a Barney quote: "When I get sad, I stop being sad and just be awesome instead. True story."

Who else could give you that advice and still mean it?!

He is known for picking up women and taking them home for the night. But for him, that gets a little boring once in a while. He desires a challenge. Yes... it is HE who made the best pick-up line ever.




He also attempted the impossible... something very few men have achieved.




He keeps the art of Laser Tag alive. He is the sole patron of all laser tag establishments. He invites his friends everyday yet they don't support his movement. Thats where we should come in. We should all become VIP Laser Tag specialists and dominate the virtual world! And it doesn't stop there people... He is also a magician. Fireballs are his speciality yet they do tend to go wrong and burn buildings down. So now he gets sent to a Time-Out if he does it inside.

But there is one weakness our hero has... He has never learnt how to drive a car... He did receive a driving lesson and I'll let you watch what happened.


 </lj-embed>


SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL BARNEY!

DeviousMoose

Throughout the years we've all seen shows that crack us up or really make us think. It could be the Simpsons, Off Centre or even asian kids getting hurt by participating in really stupid game shows. They all affect us in different ways usually in a great way where we just enjoy being entertained and doesn't take much brain power to understand. This post isn't exactly  tied to my theme but still thought it'll be a nice change. I hope my fanatic readers will enjoy a sublte category of life changing shows.


I know for a fact that this shows has millions of supporters world-wide. People who haven't seen this show ask what kind of show it is. There's only one real word for it, awkward. This whole show is made up of random events and full of awkwards moments. For those who don't really appreciate sascasm or awkward moments would find themselves wondering what the world is coming to. Family Guy breaks through barriers man thought unbreakable and takes humor to a new level by itself. Don't believe me...? Prepare to be proven wrong!




Awkward yet still in a strange sense entertaining...




Those who can't appreciate random humor ruin the fun... No one likes a party pooper.

DeviousMoose

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!! We did it! Or those who could actually vote did it! History has taken place today: The first African-American president! How great is this? The whole world was watching it on CNN or CNN live via internet and those who were very, very fortunate watched in Washington DC. Well at least we had one friend representin' us! Jan! Pretty sure he broke something or distracted Obama when he was takign the oath. That would explain why Obama tripped up with his words when he was repeating that one guy.

At least you can tell your kids and your grandkids that you saw history in the making:

"Hey Barney, I was watching CNN when Obama took the oath for his presidency! IT... WAS... AWESOME!"

And it truly was...

Watchin Biden take his oath was pretty cool too. He was smiling and giggling the whole time. I don't blame him, its great! Not the top job, but it means there is only one person who can boss you around, el presidente.

One thing I did take notice of was how black his hair is now. I want to compare how it is now to how it will be in four years. Its been scientifically proven that presidents age a lot faster than the average person. This is due to the day to day stress of governing a country. On the bright side, there are plenty of women who like older men. Michelle won't appreciate that too much.

Another cool thing was how crowded it was by the Capitol building. My sources say that around 2 million people gathered there and braved through the weather just to witness that event.


Imagine walking in on your first day of work and there are 2 millions people just to see you start. And your office is great! Actually the way to your office is amazing! American flags hanging down the walls, people filling up seats, stairs and people cheering for you. Doesn't sound like a bad way to start your new job. I'd want a band playing "Hail to the Chief" as I exit the building to see my employees.

History happened today. In one word it is.... AWESOME. An emphasis of great.

Hit 'em Up,
DeviousMoose

From what I see, these recent attacks aren't going to be the same as the ones in the past. Usually Hamas and Israel would be sending in spies, capture political prisoners or just fire missiles at each other again. But this one seems it's going to be different. Its going in the direction of an INVASION!

It's not like the movie "Mars Attack" but an actual invasion. Like the United States in Iraq. To me this means that the Israelis are serious. They're pissed and they're going after everyone in charge of the attacks.



LOOK! SIX RAMBO'S!
Someone's going to get a hurt.... real bad...

At the moment, everyone is pretty scared of the ground operation Israel has put into action because of the densely populated areas of Gaza. Some people say that Hamas has to take some extreme measures to keep the civilians safe or $h!t is going to hit the fan. Yes... a mess...
I guess that's always the danger of ground operations. Civilians are going to have to make their homes a fort with whatever they have. But I doubt that's gona stop Rambo and his clones.



A fort like this would keep them safe...... I think....


Hit 'em Up,
DeviousMoose

The new president-elect has been relatively quiet the past few weeks. He has announced that he will or already has put his 'Provide More Jobs' plan into action. He's probably been very busy with his team of experts and geniuses to solve the country's current problems. Once those are fixed he'll turn his attention to the world.

I kind of expected some kind of speech or comment from the president-elect himself but as far as I know he hasn't said anything. The only thing i could really find was this: "The president-elect is closely monitoring global events, including the situation in Gaza," said Brooke Anderson, chief security spokeswoman for Obama's transition team. "There is one president at a time, and we intend to respect that." Wow.. we got the spokeswoman guys!

If it was up to me... I'd send in the CIA. They're the secret organization that operates in foreign countries. So why not help out the Israelis? :D
I may sound a little pro-Israel but thats because in my opinion Hamas did really stupid stuff and now have to pay for what they did. You reap what you sow.

Hey y'all.. It's safe to say that everyone has heard what is going on in the Gaza strip right now. The whole place is being leveled from missiles that are being fired from two powerful parties. These parties being Israel and Hamas. These guys have been at it for years. I'm not too sure how this started but I'm pretty sure someone did something really stupid.

For those who don't know who or what Hamas is, I'll tell you. Hamas is an Islamic organization that was set up to rid the Middle East of Israel and replace it with an Islamic state. Hm... tempting but if these guys haven't been successful in 60 years of intense fighting, what keeps them motivated? Hamas just won the governmental elections of the Palestines, which most people see was rigged from the start. To the people, Hamas is a saviour because they provide schools, medical clinics and civic services. But in the eyes of the United States and the West they are seen as terrorists due to past suicide attacks in Israel.

Last week Hamas fired missiles into Israel. From sources unknown, almost all the palestinians protested this course of action. They pleaded to Hamas to not do it, to reconsider. I think the conversation went a little like this. "Hey guys? Umm... yeah, we're gona fire some rockets into Israel.. hihihi" *everyone else* "Don't do it, don't... don't... HEY! Take your finger away from that button... Don't don't and you did it... why?" They were smart.. because they know its best not to stir shit. But Hamas got bored i guess. I bet everyone is thinking now, BIG MISTAKE!

The reason it's a big mistake is because they didn't pick on someone their own size. They picked on someone that's HUGE and A POWERHOUSE! Yes, that would be Israel. These guys have been fighting for the better part of 60 years. Everyone is Israel is Rambo.

Hmm... I wish i actually followed my own advice from my 'preparation guide'. I didn't bring gloves which in the end i really did need. But I still had the time of my life, probably the best new years yet for me! Started off with my family making fun of me because i left them to go to my friends. Hopefully one day they'll understand. Drinking and partying is more fun with people your age. :D

Well I got to my friends house. My friend's codename is: Fatass. Privacy Needed to prevent lawsuit.
We spent most of the night in a club, hippy lights. thats right kids, another codename! We got the party started and worked down the drinks. We started with a beer than finished that. Next drink on the list was a tequila, finished that. Than we tried a jager bomb. (hahaha joke, i don't drink o.O) best thing EVER! I was cold, n it warmed me right up. Next thing we know, IT'S 5 MINUTES TO NEW YEARS!

Fatass arranged a free bottle of champagne with glasses and we went outside to celebrate! YAY new years! I gave the honors to an Irishman.


We lit fireworks. To me thats probably one of the best parts ever! I like fireworks.. It's like spreading happiness. :) In a way it's blowing up Tinkerbell. than everyone gets the fairy powder and can fly! Maybe a little too abstract. The club started to fill up so we went back in to reclaim our seats. Yes, i put my name on it so I could prove they were mine. We partied and drank the night away here and there. We continued the party to another friends house. Eventually it got late.. everyone was tired.

so we started to walk back. Never thought it would take one and a half hour to get home. Took a while.. actuallly a very long time. It was like walking on a never ending street. The only thing I remember was how cold it was. I was prepared to sleep in a bush with the Irishman. But kinda figured I'd die. But when we finally got home, the best thing to eat is cheese and onion Lay's chips and cereal.

This was a mere part of my new years eve night. I bet y'all jealous eh? hahahaha this is only the censored version

Hit 'em Up,
DeviousMoose

This is the most sacred holiday to most people... usually to those who are young adults. It's a day where friends get together, enjoy each others company and drink like there's no tomorrow. But most people don't exactly prepare accordingly.

They believe themselves when they say: "Nah, i don't need a coat. I'll be fine." or "Hmm... I could bring my gloves or carry 5 extra champagne bottles.. What the hell, spread the joy of champagne!" First of all, hooray for choosing the champagne but very silly I might say. Even though champagne is the only night people really drink champagne like water, think of how your hands will suffer. Many people won't think about until they walk home. And it will hurt... a lot.

As you guys can read.. my last post was about Hillary Clinton becoming the lead candidate for Secretary of State. It was more like if she can't win the presidency, she'll suck up til her lips r gone and holding a high government office. Obama probably felt sorry for her, she wasted some of her millions on her failing campaign. I see it as fate.. She is too cold and evil to be president. Not as evil as Palin but close. But.....


Why does you ask?
well... its a fun fact! Because at the moment she is a serving senator in the House, she can't take a new job or post until her term as senator is over. That's what it says in the Constitution of Rights. Life's a bitch.. HAHAH! Yet in the 1960's it's happened before and they've found loop holes and ways around it. So there may still be hope for Hillary.... I'd say there is a big chance that they'll find another loophole and get away with it. I don't have a problem with it but i think there are going to be some soccer moms who won't exactly appreciate it.

Boy this was a fun post. Very informative! STAY IN SCHOOL KIDS!

Hit 'em Up,
DeviousMoose

Hmm... mistake in progress? INDEED! It's a thing power hungry women do. They try and beat the crap out of you and do anythign to win. But when you do beat them in a landslide because your black and better than them, they start to suck up and do everything in their power to make you happier. It'll be like this "Mommy mommy, i learned a new word!" "What word honey?" "Suck up!" "What does that mean honey?" "I'm not too sure.. I think it's Hillary Clinton!" "That's my baby"


LIke coffee lattes from Starbucks on your nightstand before you even wake up. Thats dedication right there. I'd want that.. you'd want that... OBAMA WOULD WANT THAT! You'd be crazy if you didn't crumble against the sucking up power of power thirsty people. Doesn't matter if they're old and hope to achieve somehting in life except for wasting millions of dollars on a campaign they were going to lose anyway.

Hopefully the influence of Secretary of State isn't too big as to starting another war. I hope Hillary clinton will be kept in the dark most of time just as a precaution to stop her from actually causing harm. That's a little on the soft side, we're giving her another chance. But the fact she's still with her husband is a sign of being desperate if you ask me. No one's going to believe the Clinton's anymore!

Hit 'em Up
DEviousmoose

We're doin the virtual stock exchange game in my economics and business classes. It's a little weird since the teachers probably chose the worst time EVER! We have to invest in stocks and see who will end up with the most money. Except in this case it's going to be who lost the least money. Everyone has their own tactic. Invest all your money in one stock and hope it goes up. I tried that... not a good idea considering how everything is going down.

The smart people are those who havn't done ANYTHING. They're ranked 20th in a group of 155 students. It's no fun but its one way to gurantee that you wont lose any money.

We were told to do some market research before we actually invest. Well so far I've only seen what Obama was planning on doing to the american economy since the game is based on that specific market.



We need CHANGE! I say we just drop the game right now... and wait til Obama fixes everything. He's a fixer. Give him a country, seat of power or a monkey wrench and he'll go crazy! You won't even know your sink was broken until you see Obama in your house fixen it.

Yay

It's a gift from heaven that Obama is going to be the next president of the USA! But what does that mean for those who have taken soo much time off just to support him? All those people, young and old alike, who have spent the last few months giving unconditional love and have sacrificed so much just for him! What are they supposed to do? Some have lost jobs, high school sweet hearts and even dignity... It is sad how much they have suffered.. What does Obama plan to do to help them?



Okay I guess I should cut Obama some slack.. He did lead the best campaign EVER! I think everyone will agree when i say that, the presidential campaign began very professional but eventually turned into a little school yard fight. It got really childish.. that's probably why all these college students got into it! Obama and McCain gave them a bad impression of how to campaign and also planted some false hope of them becoming President too.. even if it's the President of the Party Committee.

We've all heard what Obama has been up to after the election, but what have McCain and Palin been doing? Word on the street is that Palin is apologizing for every vote McCain lost because of her. Damn right! Its pretty obvious that they didn't vote for McCain as much because of Palin! "I can see Russia from my house!" Her foreign policy always gets to me. So simple minded and retarded.. i love it.

McCain has been a ghost for all I know. He can't be found! Or he's in one of his mansions somewhere in the country. I don't know, i can't keep track of how many houses he actually has.

Hit 'em Up,
DeviousMoose

Yes we did! Barrack Obama is the next president! The new hope of the United States is now the president elect! He won with a landslide victory of 52% of votes. How great is this? The cheers could be heard world wide! The United States is ready for this change. A black president that has a different perspective on how to run a powerful country and restore it's former glory. His victory speech is the start of a new era...

Barrack Obama held his speech in Grant Park, Chicago where he thanked all supporters for their support that he needed it most. From anonymous sources, I found out that his original speech was one and a half hours long but due to circumstances, he had to cut it down to sixteen minutes. This is a true professional at work.

Here's a fun fact.. Because the Obama's are now the next first family, the secret service has put the job of protection upon themselves. They even have their own code names. Do ya wanna know them? Do ya? I'm in a good mood... i'll let you in on this top secret information...

Barrack Obama - Renegade
Michelle Obama - Renaissance
Little Obama kids - Radiance and Rosebud

HOW AWESOME ARE THESE CODENAMES?! I'm tempted to run for president just so that I have code names like those... I admit, I'm slightly jealous..

Another great thing about the new president elect is that he got straight to work. Most president elects from the past have taken time after the elections to relax after a strenuous campaign. Obama is one of the few to break that tradition and really get started on what lies ahead. I like him more now... so should you.

OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA! YES WE CAN!

Hit 'em Up,
Devious Moose

I read the poem She Dwelt Among The Untrodden Ways by William Wordsworth. From various sources and myself I know that William Wordsworth was a romantic poet that lived from 1770 - 1850. Here's a great picture of the guy.



My interpretation of this poem is simple. It's about a girl that is extremely beautiful but no one notices it except the author. He compares her beauty to a violet on a mossy stone. His feelings for her increase because he's the only one that recognizes her beauty. Eventually she dies and still no one notices but the author does. It doesn't change anything in other people's lives but makes a huge difference in his.

I'm guessing the author was always too scared to talk to her, so it was a waste to just watch from a distance until she died.... He was probably a stalker that was rejected the whole time. A little creepy if she watched her live her life til her death.

Hit 'em Up,
Devious Moose

This is going to be a short blog post but I have to say this... SOMEBODY WAS PLANNING ON ASSASSINATING OBAMA! Are you gasping for air like me?! :O IT'S CRAZY! I mean its Obama.. he's a cool guy! This isn't Assassin's Creed where you can go around assassinating people and plan to jump over building and through markets to flee... No! This guy is gona be president!


Would you wanna kill this guy? This guy who can save the United States from going in a deep dark depression much like the medievel Dark Ages. He can bring light back to the American economy! :D

Turns out that two White supremists in Tennessee were arrested for attempting a killing spree on African Americans and their main target, Barrack Obama. Obviously they didn't get too far, they're from Tennessee... which gives me the impression of hill billies trying to solve a problem of being plain retarded. Apparently they've been threatening Obama for several months, resulting in him being put under the care of the Secret Service.

Just a quick blog post, to share the news of a near tragedy!

Hit 'em Up,
Devious Moose

What a coincidence! Senator Ted Stevens that is a senator of Alaska was found guilty of corruption! :O This is a large unsuspicious convinient coincidence! Alaska... Palin... McCain.. Apocalypse.. am i the only one that see's the logic and senses the strange urge to run for my life?

Senator Ted Stevens was guilty of hiding $250,000 worth of gifts.. which is another word for bribes.. What was he bribed for?


Here's my theory.. To convince everyone to vote for Sarah Palin! SHE IS AN EVIL WOMAN! There's probably a lot of dirt on her certain people rather destory or hide. How do they do that? They bribe people like Ted! Ted was a man in bad circumstances... He's probably a good guy that just need some more money for his retirement.